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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9501211.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ASPIRE TRANSCEND OUR CONFLICTS IDEAL VALUES GOOD 950121 We can do well and be well---when we transcend our desires to engage in, maintain and nurse our conflicts in tragic efforts to affirm our selves through prevailing in win/lose conflicts. We often play tragic collusive games of mutual self deception---when we engage in what appear to us to be win/lose conflicts---for they are at fundamental levels all lose/lose conflicts in the long term. We will do well if we tend to think that if somebody loses in a conflict then everybody loses in the conflict; that for anybody to win in a conflict, everybody needs to win in the conflict. Yet; we need to acknowledge that life is not always simple and so boundaries are not always sharp and simple---especially case by case. Often it is the overall pattern which is more important than the individual case. We most enjoy both personal and communal integrity---when overall everybody gains in conflict resolutions. We need to strive for self affirmations which are integrative and so seek to resolve conflicts in mutually satisfying ways---for in those ways we are most likely to enjoy both personal and communal integrity with others in integrative communities. Our integrative self affirmations need not entail our denial of other people's integrative self affirmations. In inclusive communities wherein people enjoy both personal and communal integrity there is no need for people to deny each other's integrative self affirmations as part of their own integrative self affirmation---such conflict is recognized as non-essential. The dilemma is to seek, find and recognize the ways, the truths and the lives through which personal and communal integrity may be enjoyed by all. So long as we seek our own satisfaction and fulfillment at the expense of personal and communal integrity---we will be bound to continue to disintegrate through lose/lose conflicts which we do not seek to transform and resolve through win/win conflict resolution. We need to transcend the assumption/conviction that such conflicts can be win/lose conflicts with the advantages being ours, and the disadvantages falling upon our adversaries. To enjoy personal and communal integrity we need to believe and work to help our adversaries recognize and believe---that our mutual conflicts can be resolved openly, honestly, fairly and justly to our mutual advantage in the long term. In the absence of such recognitions, belief and work---we are bound to engage in, maintain and nurse our conflicts in tragic efforts to affirm our selves through winning in win/lose conflicts. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================