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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ACCEPT RESPECT FORMS KINDS ADDICTION CODEPEND FAIL 931016 There are many different kinds and forms of addiction and codependence. Our dilemma is that there are forms and kinds of addiction and codependence which are traditionally respected and accepted as parts of normal communal life; and we do not recognize such forms as threats to our personal and communal integrity. The very creative person who works hard for long hours and accomplishes a great deal is often respected and encouraged in her or his efforts. Such focused dedication and effort is rarely regarded as a threat; yet it is often but one manifestation of an effort by an addictive personality to fix a life which in the view of the addict is defective, imperfect and unacceptable. When such a life is unbalanced it does become a threat by obscuring the nature of addiction and codependence. The person who is a very effective actor in portraying a variety of personalities on the stage is often respected for his or or ability to appear to be each of many different and contrasting persons. Such a skill is often not regarded as a threat even when the actor is engaged in unrecognized daily deceptions of friends and family during the course of ordinary daily living. Such acting skills can undermine the integrity of daily life when the skill is put to use in the service of collusive games of mutual self deception, addictive patterns of behavior and/or the codependent support thereof. The effective leaders who know how to get people enthusiastically involved in creative projects are usually accorded high levels of respect and admiration. They facilitate the getting done of much that needs to be done to build the community. Our dilemma is that often such leaders are maniacs (of manic/depressive diseases), compulsively creative addicts, codependent supporters of the former, and/or compulsively dedicated to the support of a highly specialized paradigm which shows little or no respect for personal and communal integrity. Great leadership skills are often dedicated to the advancement of attitudes, assumptions, perceptions and manners of thought and deception which are characteristic of our various forms of addiction, codependence and collusive games of mutual self deception. The religious leaders who enable a religious community to maintain its highly respected traditions, religious teachings, rituals and patterns of regular worship are usually respected and accepted as performing an important service. Yet such religious leaders are often compulsive addicts who are engaged in many forms of coercive manipulation and subtle control which engender hidden rebellion, resentment and violent responses on the part of the more imaginative and creative members of their religious communities. They are more interested in promoting conformity than in personal and communal integrity; for they do not recognize the differences between them. Their forms and kinds of addiction are rarely regarded as threats to personal and communal integrity. Each time that some of the forms and kinds of addiction, codependence and collusive games of mutual self deception are respected and accepted because they confer some temporary advantage --- the stage is set of the tragic drama of full scale deception and communal disintegration. We need to recognize the subtle forms and kinds of addiction, codependence and collusive games of mutual self deception which do not appear to be threatening; else we will be unable to respond wisely to the more obvious threats of the more blatant forms of addiction, dishonesty, corruption and abuse of power. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================