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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %COLLUDE DISHONEST PRETEND TRUE SELF OTHER 931005 Participants in collusions often generate confusion about what is real and what is not real; what is true and what is not true. In their efforts to control appearances they confuse the differences between reality and dishonest fantasy. They forbid certain kinds of honest fantasy having to do with transcending their collusive games of mutual self deception, and then extend the prohibitions to expressing any truths about the actual lives and experiences of people who do not respect their collusive games of mutual self deception. Collusive people pretend that it is possible to be in control of our experiences, desires, fears, emotions, perceptions, insights, fantasies, etc. For their dishonest games of mutual self deception to succeed they must be in control of all aspects of human lives. Thus they must generate confusion about the differences between what we can control and what we cannot control. They generate confusion about what it is responsible to try to control and what it is disintegrative to try to control. Collusive people cannot feel comfortable with people who are being true to themselves and others; being themselves openly, honestly and responsively. In their world all appearances must be controlled and no one should be free to fantasize possibilities other than those which are permitted by the paradigm of the colluders; much less should anybody really be different than what is permitted by the paradigm of the colluders. Life styles which contrast with the life styles of the colluders are forbidden as being evil and intolerable---which they are to the colluders because non-conformist life styles expose the dishonesty of the colluders. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================