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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %PARENT CHILD FAMILY ORIGIN DYSFUNTION ADDICT JOY 930909 We lack personal and communal integrity when through threat and fear of excommunication we ourselves are not in communication with ourselves as regards disparities between our real authentic experiences/perceptions and our own sense/expectations/injunctions regarding what our experiences/perceptions "should" be. We are then unlikely to be aware of such disparities because out of threat and fear of our own excommunications we repress, suppress, ignore and forget them. If our own internalized "parent" is telling us that our real authentic experiences/perceptions cannot/mustnot be real; because their are taboo, forbidden, impossible, evil and grounds for excommunication; our internalized "child" in the absence of a responsible internalized "adult" is bound to be terrorized with threats of and fear of excommunication from the irresponsible but "loved" internalized "parent". Such threats and terrors engender the feared excommunication; and personal and communal disintegrations flow from the threats and fears. Then honesty and integrity are impossible. We cannot be true to ourselves or to each other so long as we are terrorized by the threats of our internalized dysfunctional parents of our families of origin; and our internalized non-growing child of origin remains un-nurtured and un-supported by any responsible adult who has available to offer to us the gift of true security. In the absence of such empowering adults we cannot grow. We need to seek earnestly for the presence of such empowering adults; and we need seek to become such empowering adults to ourselves and to each other. Judgmental parents who are compulsively preoccupied with their knowledge of the difference between good people and evil people---cannot give us the true gift of security; for such judgmental parents are obliged to worship their idolatrous knowledge of good and evil, and through their worship services they engender alienation through rejection, banishment and excommunications. Such judgmental parents sow the seeds of evil personal relationships. They cannot see the difference between the evil relationships which they nurture, and the ostensibly evil people whom they conceive to be real. They do not see how integrative relationships conceive people, as much as individual people participate in relationships. For them people as isolated and alienated individuals are much more real and "good" than are the healthy relationships which conceive integrated people of integrity who are involved in unauthorized honest intimacy which threatens the collusions of the judgmental parents. These perceptions, are however, taboo. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================