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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9303274.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %HONEST HEALTH MAINTAIN SICK ILLNESS ADDICTION LOVE 930327 Often we cannot grow and maintain our health because we get stuck at one particular stage of life, with one isolated friend/lover or with one group of friends and/or relationships. If our ground of being is dependent in unbalanced ways upon one particular friend, lover, relationships, group, or process---then we cannot grow and maintain our health in balanced growing relationships. To grow and maintain our health we must be willing to let-go of unbalanced patterns of living, to develop new balanced patterns of living, friendships, relationships, ideals, and values. Letting-go is not just an intellectual decision based upon reason, logic and facts. Letting-go is also an emotional growth process in which the loss of what is let- go is mourned honestly. Much that has been meaningful to us, both constructive and destructive in nature, is let-go in the process of letting-go. Much of our traditional meaning and security is let-go with it. It cannot be let- go honestly without mourning the loss. To deny the loss by refusing to mourn the loss is to remain stuck at one particular stage of life. This is true even when the loss is the loss of meaningful frustrations, anger, resentment, pain, conflict, and violence. If our only meaning in life has been in such realities apart from more positive realities, it can be very painful and emotionally wrenching to let-go of the negative realities in order to be open to more positive realities. It is also painful and emotional wrenching to let-go of positive experiences in life which have been full of affection, affirmations, respect, power, creativity, growth, integrity and possibilities. Yet we cannot hang on to everything which has been bad and/or good for us; and still grow. We are finite creatures and cannot fulfill all possibilities which are open to us. To fulfill some new possibilities we must let-go of some of our old realities; both good and bad. There is emotional work to be done in letting-go of what have been important aspects of our lives; be they good or bad. The emotional work is not intellectual, rational, logical, or scholarly. If the work is devoid of emotion it is not emotional work, it is more likely to be part of a denial process which will block growth. This blockage is likely to occur if we are compulsively dedicated to objectivity, rationality, logic, measurements, computations and linear thinking. To grow in healthy ways and create healthy communities we must be willing to let go of such unbalanced compulsions. We must let go of much in order to grow into new creative beings in new relationships and processes. See previous essays. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================