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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9303192.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ACHIEVE SUCCESS CONFORM PRIDE SELF ESTEEM ACCEPT+930319 %WHOLE PERSON MEANS TECHNOCRAT RELATE PARADIGM I-IT 930319 It is abusive to treat or relate to another person in terms of some part of the whole person; rather than as two whole persons entering into a relationship characterized by balance, mutuality, justice, dialogue, and understanding. Specialists are prone to enter into abusive relationships because they are prone to be exclusive. Powerful people are prone to enter into abusive relationships because they are prone to create unbalanced relationships without mutuality, justice, dialogue or understanding. Addictive people are prone to enter into abusive relationships because they are seeking to save themselves through manipulative fixes, preoccupation with control, and focusing upon exclusive ideals and values. Abusive relationships tend towards being I-It relationships rather than towards being I-Thou relationships. In abusive relationships the other person is treated as an it to be used, a means to an end, a disposable entity. In I-Thou relationships two people meet each other as whole beings to be intimately knowing in open and honest dialogue which is free of deception, secrecy, and dishonesty. Not all abusive relationships are alike. Some abusive relationships are active and involve overt violence. Other abusive relationships are passive and involve neglect. Abusive relationships differ as regards what forms of manipulation, dishonesty, secrecy, repression, suppression, neglect, exclusivity, imbalance, injustice, addiction, and collusions play central roles within them. We cannot transcend abusive relationships through sophisticated analysis and technical procedures; for analysis and technical procedures flow from the paradigm which contributes substantially to the generation of abusive relationships. To transcend abusive relationships we need to seek ways to transcend the paradigm from which they flow; a paradigm which has no place of honor for whole persons of integrity living within communities of integrity. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================