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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9212152.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %STAGES LIFE IDENTITY CHANGE RELATIONSHIP CONTROL 921215 At any one point in our life we are likely to regard ourself as having a given personal identity; giving little thought to the continual process of change in our identity. We may gain a sense of security out of the illusion that our identity is permanent, not changing. The reality is that our identity changes during our lives due to changing metabolic processes in our body relating to our sexuality and level of overall vitality. We have relatively little control over those changes and must learn to cope with them, or be dysfunctional. Our personal identity depends greatly upon our relationships with members of our families, those with whom we work, our friends and lovers, our enemies. We not only create our relationships; our relationships create us. We have some control over what kinds of relationships we enter into, how they evolve and how we respond to them; but we cannot have total control over our relationships or responses---just as others cannot have total control over our relationships or how we respond to our relationships. Our challenge is to develop paradigms within which to cope with our changing metabolic processes and our changing relationships; and to do so with personal and communal integrity. Our coping must be cooperative to be integrative. We cannot be integrative in isolation, or in relationships which are competitive but not cooperative. If our paradigms are based upon the premise that we can have unchanging identities within our changing universe; then our paradigms, persons and communities cannot exist with integrity within a changing universe. Such paradigms are dishonest and encourage collusive games of mutual self deception. We will not enjoy fulfillment and satisfaction so long as we try to live according to paradigms which are based upon false premises. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================