blog traffic analysis
This is http://www.essayz.com/a9210202.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %OFFENSE DEFENSE ENERGY TIME ATTEND HONEST DIALOGUE 921020 The more offensive other people are toward us, the more defensive we tend to be. The more defensive we tend to be, the more offensive they perceive us to be. The more offensive they perceive us to be, the more defensive they are. The more defensive they are, the more offensive we perceive them to be. The more offensive we perceive other people to be toward us, the more defensive we tend to be; and the cycle of offense and defense goes round and round. The more time, energy, and attention which we squander upon being defensive and offensive; the less time, energy, and attention there is left for us to devote to being ourselves with each other in open and honest dialogue---and the less inclination thereto. The more offensive other people are toward us, the less inclined we are to be ourselves with them in open and honest dialogue; instead we are inclined to be defensive in futile efforts to feel secure in the absence of any gifts of security from them. The more we try to compensate for others' not giving us unconditional gifts of security (by being futilely defensive); the more they are offended by our attitudes, assumptions, and defensive behavior patterns. They are insulted by our insecurity and secretive ways, and learn not to trust us. They become less inclined to be themselves with us in open and honest dialogue; and are instead inclined to be defensive toward us in the absence of any gifts of security from us. Being defensive in the absence of gifts of security, does not achieve security. Being defensive in the presence of offensive behavior, does not mitigate the offensive behavior. Trying to require each other to mitigate offensive and defensive behavior, does not lead to less offensive and defensive behavior; because our failures to succeed in the effort are perceived by each other as offenses which call for self-righteous judgments---which lead to further excommunication and alienation. Efforts to manipulate and control each other's behaviors lead to offenses---which elicit defenses---which are perceived as offenses---which are used to justify alienative judgments and distrust. We need instead to focus our attention on steps we can take---by which to elicit and justify each other's trust, relaxation, recreation, and interest in open and honest dialogue about differing/contrasting/complementary forms of communal and personal integrity which we may learn to respect and appreciate. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================