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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9208251.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %AVOID COERCIVE VIOLENT LEAD GUIDE PRESCRIBE FORCE+920825 %PERMISSIVE DISCIPLINE CONTROL ADDICT AUTHORITY 920825 Disagreements over how permissive parents, teachers, professors, and others in authority should be are rooted in misleading concepts regarding the nature of the personal relationships between those who ostensibly should be in control, and those who ostensibly should be obedient. If some people should be in control of other people who should be obedient; then the questions which should be asked might well be questions regarding the degree of control which should be exercised, and the degree of obedience which should be shown. Formulating the questions in this way, however, leads to confusion and to attempts to be in control of what cannot be controlled; and leads t various forms of addiction as people seek to fix what cannot be fixed with fixes---as people try to deal with various forms of rebellion, deception, and manipulations. Questions pertaining to permissiveness are rooted in assumptions regarding personal relationships: who should be in control of whom, for what purpose, in what way, and according to what guidelines. The questions are rooted in assumptions regarding what is and what is not possible. The questions regarding permissiveness cannot be satisfactorily answered within the framework which usually leads to the questions. The questions need to be reframed in ways which transcend the conflicts implicit within the questions. To transcend the questions which are usually asked regarding permissiveness, we need to transcend the assumptions which are usually made by addicts and their supportive codependents; and to consider personal relationships which are much more healthy and integrative, than are those characterized by people who are trying to be in control of what cannot be controlled. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================