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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %AFFIRM RECIPROCAL GOOD FEEL WAY CONFORM BEHAVIOR 911110 The way to true intimacy involves affirmations of reciprocal good feelings; not lists of legalistic prohibitions, do's, dont's, injunctions, laws, regulations, judgements, rejections, and other alienative behaviors. The way to true intimacy involves consideration of what is essential to both personal and communal integrity; not preoccupations with selfish desires, or preoccupation with communal regulations to control dangerous selfish desires. The way to true intimacy involves being truly vulnerable with each other with whom one seeks to be intimate; it does not involve seeking security through defensive invulnerability. The way to true intimacy is not the mastery of a system of skills and technologies; but rather a way of being true to self and others in personal relationships which are open, spontaneously responsive, honest and unique. The way to true intimacy is not a standard way in keeping with standard conformal rules and regulations; but instead is appropriate to the unique potentials of the travelers on each way to intimacy within each intimate relationship. Perfection in intimacy cannot be measured in terms of a standard model; but rather is known in the eternal now of I-Thou relationships which are immediate, direct and real: and in which participants are honestly present to each other as unique creatures. The way to true intimacy is not under the control of any person or community; but rather is conceived and made real by individuals who truly seek to know each other as they are really being true to themselves and each other who is willing to be true to themselves. True intimacy is not a status/reward which will be given to us in heaven on some future occasion, because of our systematic conformity here on planet earth; but rather is a way of being truly present to each other in mind, body, soul and spirit in the eternal now of real daily living here and now on planet earth. Confusion regarding the nature and way of true intimacy often stands in the way of true intimacy, and prevents true intimacy. The way of true intimacy thus often entails honestly clarifying the nature and way of true intimacy. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================