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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %LOVE SECURE FOUNDATIONS HONESTY DILEMMA PROBLEM 910918 Our physical, affective, spiritual and mental ways of being our selves weave the tightly woven fabric of our unique lives. Love lays down secure foundations for honesty; for without the security of love's foundations we cannot be true to ourselves or to each other. In the absence of the gift of security given in love and accepted in humility; it is risky to be open and honest in dealing with our dilemmas. If we are not open and honest in our dealing with the dilemmas of our lives; we disintegrate as persons and communities, and lack personal and communal integrity. If we fail to deal wisely with the dilemmas of our lives; our disintegration is manifested in our affective alienations when we try to hide our failures in dishonest manipulations of our appearances. We need to lay down secure foundations for honesty; else we will feel the need to dishonestly manipulate our appearances to try to achieve affective acceptance. If we are trying to achieve affective acceptance; we are very trying people, and are not nice to be with because we are not reliable and put people on edge. When we are dishonestly trying to achieve affective acceptance; we are not honestly responsive and so cannot be responsible or trust-worthy, and are insecure with each other. If our affective lives make us feel insecure we seek to defend ourselves with dishonest manipulations which undermine the secure foundations which love seeks to lay down. In our dishonest manipulations we cannot let go of our defenses, cannot relax with each other in honest love, and seek dishonest technical substitutes for honest love. Within our dishonest technocratic manipulations we cannot be clear about the ideals, values, principles, goals and desires which dominate our weak spiritual lives. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================