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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9101071.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %PARENT PROTECT RESCUE SAVE RESPONSE CHILD ADDICT 910107 Parents have limited responsibility to protect, rescue, save and respond to their children. The child should not be in charge of controlling the parent. The parent should not be in charge of controlling the child. Parents and children are independent creatures who cannot control each other, and should not try to control each other because there cannot be healthy control. If parents assume excessive responsibility to be responsive to, to protect, to rescue and to save children; they will nurture addictive and codependent patterns in their children, and the parents are likely to become addicted in codependent ways. Parents need to recognize, know and acknowledge the limits of their responsibilities to their children whom they cannot own in the sense of possessions to be controlled. If they do not recognize, know and acknowledge those limits, they are bound to try to exceed those limits with tragic consequences. Parents need to recognize that inappropriate generosity (even within parental limits) can generate un-healthy dependency on the part of their children. Such generosity is likely to be stretched by increasing expectations, so that eventually the parental limits are reached. Children who do not learn how to take care of themselves within their own limits learn to depend upon parents (or others) to take care of them within limits which the children cannot meet; but which the parents (or others) can meet, until rising expectations lead to real limits being reached. When the child gets used to living within the larger limitations of parents (or others), then the child is dependent upon those who have taught the child to expect their generosity. Such a child is a prisoner of an addictive/codependent relationship which needs to be dealt with openly and honestly for it to be transcended. The excesses of the relationship cannot be controlled through superior power, will, resources, intelligence, sophistication, education, etc. The only way to transcend the dysfunctional aspects of such a relationship are to deal with the relationship openly and honestly; to recognize, acknowledge and deal with the dishonesty which has been present in it, and to recover honesty as the way to health. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================