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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %DETACH ISSUE CONTROL SELF OTHER ADDICTION DEPEND 901224 To detach from the addicts' and codependents' preoccupation with the issue of control we must find ways to transcend the issue of control. It is not enough to shift the focus of concern over being in control, to concern with: (1)Changing who is in control, (2) Preoccupation with not being in control--regarded as being either good or evil, (3) Rewarding or punishing people (ourselves or others) for either being, or not being in control. Each person who is preoccupied with control tends to put other persons on the defensive and so concerned with control also. Preoccupation with control generates conflicts and violence of many forms, of which physical violence and war are only the most obvious forms. Focusing upon control does not lead to the transcendence of the conflicts and violence which flow from being preoccupied with issues of control. Attention must be focused upon considerations other than control, in order to transcend the problems generated by the preoccupation with control. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================