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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9009291.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ADDICT CODEPENDENT TRUST RISK DESIRE BELIEVE TRUE 900929 Addicts and codependents trust each other to believe what each wants to believe, whether it is true or not. This leaves them free to tell the truth or not, whichever is convenient to each in their games of mutual self deception. The addict makes promises of reform, and often believes the promises because s/he wants to; even though unable to keep identical promises in the recent past. The codependent upon hearing the promises of reform wants to believe the promises, and does so; even though the same promises have been made and broken many times in the recent past. The codependent says s/he will no longer put up with the irresponsible behavior of the addict, and says s/he will not do what the addict will want done when things go badly. This statement is a different sort of thing, it is not an ordinary promise; it both is and is not a promise. It is a claim of unreliability, a claim that the addict will not be able to rely on the codependent to rescue; but the addict knows better and wants to believe that the codependent is not telling the truth---and so believes that the codependent can be relied upon to rescue when it is imprudent and not helpful to rescue. Thus the addict and the codependent confuse the truth and falsehood to such an extent that the difference between truth and falsehood is no longer clear and makes no difference in their daily life. They do not make or recognize the distinction between truth and falsehood, and believe what they want to believe when they want to; about their own and the other's behaviors and statements. They lose touch with reality and each other. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================