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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9009282.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %OSTENSIBLE VS PRACTICED COLLUSIVE VALUES IDEALS 900928 It is important to recognize and deal with the difference between the values and ideals which people present themselves as believing and supporting on the one hand, and the values and ideals which they actually practice in their daily behavior. If the difference is not recognized and dealt with wisely, the cost of not recognizing it and dealing with the difference can be great; and in many cases the failure is tragic in the classical sense of being tragic. The difference between values and ideals which people present themselves as believing and supporting on the one hand, and the values and ideals which they actually practice in their daily behavior may often be seen as an important aspect of their addictive, codependent and/or collusive way of life. The difference is a form of dishonesty. The dishonesty may be covert to both the person who practices the dishonesty and to those for whom the dishonest is practiced. In collusions the participants engage in mutual self deception. The difference between ostensible and practiced values is created by the games of mutual self deception and so is covert to all participants. Authentic health and integrity is not possible so long as there is a lack of coherence between ostensible ideals and practiced ideals. The difference needs to be recognized and dealt with wisely in ways which transcend collusive games of mutual self deception. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================