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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9007151.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ADDICTIVE SOCIETY ACKNOWLEDGE NEEDS TRUE LOVE BIND 900715 Members of an addictive society are in a double bind: they have an emptiness inside which need to be fulfilled, apparently needing to be filled by what can be owned and controlled. Yet being filled by what can be owned and controlled never seems to fulfill the need which is felt; the emptiness remains no matter how much is owned and controlled. Addicts yearn for true love, but cannot truthfully acknowledge their need for true love; because such an acknowledgement will violate the rules of their collusive games of mutual self deception. True love would expose their dishonesty. Only true love can fulfill the need for which the addictive person yearns; but the ruling addictive paradigm says that only what can be controlled can possibly lead to fulfillment. True love cannot be controlled. The addictive person again and again reaches for what appear to be the possibilities of true love; and by trying to control those possibilities destroys them, and is left empty with another empty relationship of addiction and codependence. To enjoy the fulfillment of true love is to give up the dishonest games of mutual self deception, and to acknowledge that fulfillment comes to those who are honest about their: needs, desires, fears, mistakes, weaknesses, insecurity, faults, imperfections, dishonesty, etc. Such acknowledgements are unthinkable to anyone who is in the prison of addictive/codependent relationships with their collusive games of mutual self deception. Such acknowledgements are unthinkable in the sense that their possibility cannot and do not rise to the level of conscious consideration. Yet at an instinctive level even the imprisoned addict and codependent know in a dim way that their frustrations are rooted in their dishonesty about themselves and each other. They need positive encouragement to deal with their dishonesty. They need a fail-safe social context where it becomes thinkable for them to honestly acknowledge their: needs, desires, fears, mistakes, weaknesses, insecurity, faults, imperfections, dishonesty, etc. They need the true security which is the freedom to be vulnerable. They cannot recover true health and integrity in the absence of such true security. Thus dealing with the consequences of addictive behavior must involve providing such true security within which addicts may recover. Such true security is not likely to be provided for them in traditional prisons. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================