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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %DETACH LETTING GO ADDICT LOVER DESIRE ATTITUDE JOY 900705 For addictive lovers the process of detachment and letting go of each other is more than an objective process of quitting overt efforts to control each other's behavior. Authentic detachment and letting go is a matter of the mind, heart and spirit having to do with assumptions, desires and attitudes. In the process of detachment and letting go addictive lovers begin to think about each other in new and different ways. Their thought processes change from ones characterized by the assumption that it is desirable to control other people, to the assumption that meaningful relationships do not involve inter-personal control and/or desire to be in control. The thought processes cease to involve consideration of techniques for exercising control and/or the rationalization of being controlled. The process of detachment and letting go is also a matter of the heart; of the emotions. The desires to be involved in "true-love" (which is essentially false) decline. With the recognition of the disintegrative character of addictive-love comes the integration of mind and heart, and the letting go of addictive desires, because such desires lead to disintegrative thoughts and behaviors. Such desires cease to have a hold on the imagination, and cease to generate misleading motivations. The process of detachment and letting go involves the spiritual life in a broad sense which transcends conventional religious rituals and practices. Attitudes and perceptions of inter-personal relationships change. Ways in which an approach is made to inter-personal relationships change, and inter-personal relationships cease to be stuck in static binds; they move in dynamic growth processes which create and recreate the participants and their spiritual lives. Personal relationships cease to be dominated by physical realities, and come to be dynamically lead by newly recognized realities of which addictive lovers are barely aware, if they are aware of them at all. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================