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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %RISK FALL LOVE REAL FALSE SLIP SLIDE INTIMATE SEX 900528 In the addictive society it is of ultimate importance to appear to conform to proper expectations; but the rules of the game are confused and not well articulated. It is thus important to stay far away from where the line between proper and improper may be perceived to be by powerful judgmental others. If we are not careful then our thoughts, desires, fantasies, imaginations, visions, fears and expectations may not conform to propriety; and we may be rejected by others, excluded from all conversation within which we might be converted and saved from our isolation. We must be careful not to reveal that which is within us which may not conform properly. We must avoid intimacy if we are to avoid being rejected and have intimacy with-held from us. In the addictive society the rules of the games which are played are not well defined; because any effort to define them clearly would expose the dishonesty which is inherent in the games of mutual self deception. In the addictive society it is important that all behavior be governed by rules and regulations, ethics, morality, traditions, expectations, etc. Behavior and thoughts which transcend such governance are a threat to the collusive system which appears to be the Ground of Being in the addictive society. To be is to conform. To conform is to be real, to be acceptable. Conformity is the Ground of Being. Appearances are the essence of being. Conformity need not entail honesty; for the mere appearance of conformity is enough to satisfy those who demand conformity, because they fear to look beyond mere appearances in themselves and others. They dare not check to see if conformity is authentic or false, for to check is to call into question the rules of the collusive games of self deception which are the ground of their being; being who they are not, in order to appear acceptable. Authentic intimacy and sexuality are taboo in the addictive society because it is impossible to participate in authentic intimacy and sexuality while playing the collusive games of mutual self deception which define what is, and what is not, acceptable in the addictive society. It is taboo to clarify such differences as do exist between intimacy and sexuality; for to clarify such differences would expose the collusive games of mutual self deception. Thus in the addictive society where there are taboos against some forms of sexual desire, thoughts, fantasies, and behaviors; it is important to avoid all the gray areas which are wide and dangerous, because they are so ill defined and confused. The ill definitions of what is the essence of propriety and what is the essence of impropriety puts people ill-at-ease and occasions dis-ease and sickness; the sickness of the addictive society which is often treated by medical doctors who do not dare look for the roots of the diseases which they treat with chemicals and cutting tools; but rarely treat with compassion which is honestly felt and expressed. The medical doctors of the addictive society are addicted to their manipulative/intrusive paradigm in which they seek to be in charge, in control, of the healing process. They do not know how to tap the patients' potential healing processes, for such processes are based upon a level of honesty which is taboo in the medical profession which is addicted to technocratic reactions to disease by which doctors try to doctor, to fix, patients as victims of disease, and so the patients often become victims of treatment. Terminally ill patients are often required to submit to treatments whose only purpose is to celebrate the society's addiction to the medical paradigm. The roles which patients play in choosing to be victims in attitude, thought, affect, and behavior are not dealt with in the traditional medical treatment procedures. Such roles are not named or acknowledged, even though they are the roots of the diseases. Recovery of health in the addictive society waits for the work of people able to be honest about the nature of the roots of most human dis-eases. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================