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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ADDICTIVE PERSONALITY SECURITY VULNERABLE FEAR JOY 900504 The addictive personality is not familiar with and has not accepted security as the freedom to be vulnerable within an environment over which control cannot be achieved. Often addictive persons have not been offered security in the context of vulnerability. Other addictive persons have refused to accept such offers because they are misled by misbeliefs regarding the nature of security. The addictive person is the victim of the misbelief that to enjoy security one must achieve and retain control through appropriate defensive measures. The environment is perceived as essentially unfriendly and security is to be achieved by defensive achievements which successfully deal with external threats to one's security. The addictive person cannot conceive of accepting security as a gift without engaging in defensive manipulations. The addictive person cannot conceive of security based more upon personal trust, than upon personal achievements. The addictive person is always tired and irritable, because the addictive person is constantly on guard and fearful that defensive measures are inadequate, imperfect. In some dim way the addictive person knows that full control of all aspects of one's environment is impossible; and manipulative security is impossible in the absence of full control. Thus the addictive person is always fearful that their inadequacy in manipulative skills and powers will leave a crack in their armor and leave them vulnerable. Addictive persons do not know how to be themselves with serenity in the face of an uncontrolled environment. They do not know how to respond to uncontrolled elements of their environment, and wish they had the ability to control each element which they fear may threaten them. Their serenity is not rooted in being themselves with integrity in honest responses to their environment. They seek security in being in perfect control of their environment. Addicts believe that the threats which they perceive in fact exist outside of themselves, but many of their fears are rooted in their misbeliefs about the nature of real security and how it may be enjoyed. They need to seek to discover that the roots of their tensions, apprehensions, strains and stresses originate as much in their misbeliefs, as in external circumstances and realities. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================