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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9004222.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %KINDS ACCEPTANCE RESPONSE PERSON ELEMENTS RELATION 900422 The quality and integrity of our personal relationships and communal lives depend upon the kinds of acceptance which characterize our lives, and upon the character of the foci of those kinds of acceptance. We may note that among the kinds of acceptance are those which we may point to with words/phrases such as: conditional and/or unconditional acceptance and/or: rejection, dialogue, listening, responsiveness, conversation, conversion, communication, affection, intimacy, permission, encouragement, judgement, etc. The focus in distinguishing the KINDS OF ACCEPTANCE is upon the manner of responses. We may note that among the types of foci for the various kinds of acceptance are those which we may point to/with words/phrases such as: persons, things, ideas, ideals, values, elements, relationships, behaviors, beliefs, principles, laws, rules, institutions, groups of people, organizations, etc. The focus in these considerations is upon the CHARACTER OF that which is, or is not, accepted. There are countless ways in which there may be different combinations of a KIND OF ACCEPTANCE and the CHARACTER OF that which is or is not accepted. We usually consider only a small fraction of those possible combinations; ignoring the integrative and disintegrative consequences of many of the combinations which are present in our daily lives. We would do well to be more aware of the consequences of the many kind of acceptance in our daily lives, and of the many ways in which they combine with the characters of that which is, or is not, accepted. It makes a great deal of difference when a person is accepted as a whole person and welcomed into an integrative community as a whole person; rather than being accepted conditionally in disintegrative ways depending upon the propriety of their beliefs, behaviors and appearances. Acceptance and rejection of the elements of persons on the basis of criteria for judgmental selection; lead to personal and communal disintegration for those who make the judgments, and those who are judged. That kind of acceptance and the manner of selecting the character of what is accepted and/or rejected lead naturally to personal and communal disintegration or integration. Disintegration is the natural consequence of taboos which make people be embarrassed to witness open and honest relationships among other people. Participants in collusive behavior support such taboos to protect their dishonest collusive games of mutual self deception. Collusive, addictive and codependent people are prone towards disintegrative definitions of the kinds of acceptance and/or rejection, and prone towards disintegrative definitions of the character of whatever/whomever is the focus of such acceptance/rejection. There are countless ways in which the manner of an acceptance/rejection may be combined with the character of the definition of the focus of the acceptance/rejection. Each combination has its own natural consequences which may be integrative or disintegrative, visible or invisible, encouraging or discouraging, etc. We will do well to become aware of the combinations and their consequences. It will be possible to dramatize the truth of these abstract statements with many stories, plays, and dramas which are beyond the scope of these writings. We will be served well by people who clearly dramatize the consequences of our various kinds of accepting/rejecting whatever/whomever we define as worthy of our conditional acceptance/rejection. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================