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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9001223.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %SECURE SELF ESTEEM SALVATION SUCCESS SERVE ADDICT 900122 If we lack a healthy self esteem and seek to achieve salvation through sacrificial service we are likely to become trapped in addictive codependent relationships. If our salvation seems to us to depend upon sacrificial service to others, we are likely to seek out people whom we think need our service. At the same time addictive people who do not cope honestly with their own problems and responsibilities are likely to recognize our willingness to be of unlimited service to others as a way to try to save ourselves. Addicts will oblige and provide us with unlimited opportunities to be of service to them. They seek out people who are trying to save themselves through service, and attach themselves to such imprudent servants; for they are likely to be foolishly faithful servants. The problem of the foolishly faithful servants is that addicts do not often provide opportunities for successful honest service. Addicts want dishonest service which does not confront their dishonesty, and they manipulate their servants into dishonest relationships and dishonest service. They threaten servants who confront them honestly; but people of low self esteem are not likely to try to confront addicts' dishonesty, unless they really understand addiction and what it is at its heart. The codependent who is seeking salvation through service to addicts is in hell. Serving addicts on their terms is dishonest service and we cannot achieve our salvation through it; for so long as it is dishonest, service does not succeed. Even more fundamentally, the nature of salvation is such that we cannot achieve it for ourselves through our own efforts to save ourselves by any means. Meaningful salvation is enjoyed by people engaged in cooperative communal service which is honest and promotes both personal and communal integrity. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================