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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8910171.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CHURCH TEACH LOVE CARE SELF CODEPEND ADDICT LEARN 891017 Many churches teach that we should love and care for others, but few churches teach in a balanced way that we should properly love and care for ourselves; so that we will not become a burden upon others. The result of the neglect of balanced teachings about loving and caring for ourselves within many churches is that we are encouraged to support addicts in their attitudes and habits. Thus many good people become dishonest codependent rescuers of addicts who refuse to learn from their mistakes. It is not easy to distinguish between authentic loving care and imprudent codependent care, but the difference is of great importance. We need to give more attention to recognizing the difference between healthy care and unhealthy care. We need to learn, teach, and be taught how to see the signs of healthy care and the signs of diseased care. Diseased care is often motivated by a desire to attract care for and about us which we have been deprived of in our childhood, but which deprivation we have not learned to acknowledge and mourn. Diseased codependent care often engages in misleading behavior and often avoids open and honest discussion of fears, desires, motivations and personal experiences. Diseased codependent care often entails subtle efforts to gain control of that which can not be controlled. Diseased care is often unable to let go of those cared for; it often entails attitudes of exclusive possession, ownership, control, etc. Healthy care liberates those who are cared for to take care of themselves, according to their own needs and desires. Healthy care is open and honest, seeking dialogue regarding fears, desires, motivations and personal experiences. Healthy care is disinterested in control and interested in liberation. Healthy care is characterized by liberating compassion, inclusive fellowship, honest, cooperation, and offering alternative opportunities. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================