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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8907191.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %INDEPENDENT ACHIEVE SALVATION REJECT ACCEPT LOVE 890719 When a community accepts the notion that its members must achieve their own salvation/acceptance; it sows the seeds of the disintegration of its members, and the seeds of its own disintegration. When members of a community cannot count on acceptance as communicating members of the community, they must earn membership in the community by conformity to some standard of behavior. The more clearly specified the standard of conformity is, the more coercive it is. The less clearly specified the standard of conformity is, the more easily it can be used as the grounds for rejection from communication. In either case there is dis- integration. Members of such a community may be rejected for accepting others on insufficient grounds. To play safe it is better to reject when in doubt, than to accept when in doubt. People who want to stay in good standing in such a community must adopt the attitude that they are on their own to earn acceptance; they must be self sufficient, not counting on gifts of charity, love, forgiveness, redemption, etc. In such a community it is clear that those who make good have done so on their own, and have clear grounds to be proud of their accomplishment, and they have clear grounds for looking down upon those who have not made good. Those who have not made good have no grounds for a healthy self esteem, and act accordingly in addictive and codependent ways. When a community accepts the notion that its members must achieve their own salvation/acceptance, it sows the seeds for the disintegration of its members, and sows the seeds for its own disintegration through addictions and codependent support of addictions, as rejected members seek to achieve emotional security in the face of communal rejections. As rejected members seek desperately to gain control of others' inclination to conditionally reject/accept them, they try one form of addiction/codependence after another as the hoped for means to achieve salvation. They become technocrats seeking the best effective technique/means to salvation and security in the absence of any freedom to be vulnerable. Their defensive maneuvers heighten pre-existing insecurity and dispositions to understand, predict and control human behaviors as the best means to salvation. Such a disintegrating community needs to honestly accept the fact that meaningful security is the freedom- to-be-vulnerable which is given as a gift through acceptance into the community of dialogue without regard for individual achievements and failures. Given that kind of security, self esteem is not threatened and there is little motivation to engage in addictive/codependent behaviors. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================