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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8907071.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ANTAGONIST DEFENSIVE IDEALS VALUES RELAX TRANQUIL 890707 Many people have habits of mind and heart which are fundamentally antagonistic, defensive; prone to attack. Such people often cannot trust anybody. Deep down they do not feel that people can be trust-worthy. They feel that it is their duty to be on the defensive at all times. They cannot relax. They cannot enjoy tranquility. They cannot be at peace. They are always at war in one way or another. Such people often work in terms of some rationalization of how they feel. They can rationalize their attitudes; their habits of mind and heart. They have intellectual justifications for their feelings and attitudes. They believe that their rationalizations justify how the feel and behave. They believe that their attitudes follow logically from their rationalizations, not vice versa. It is dangerous to let such disintegrative rationalizations lead us into disintegrative patterns of thought and feeling. It is important to be able to recognize the disintegrative character of such rationalizations, to detach from them, and to focus upon more integrative considerations. Without such detachment we are unlikely to enjoy tranquility, peace, security, relaxation, shalom. We can make the mistake of being too defensive with regards to antagonists and defensive people. We may be preoccupied with such people and become like them in our efforts to defend ourselves against their excesses. This is why detachment of an appropriate form is essential. It does no good to be preoccupied with that from which we need to be detached. Preoccupation does not lead to detachment of a constructive sort. We need to seek the roots of such antagonistic and defensive behaviors, and we may find them in our dysfunctional families of origin, and echoed in the dysfunctional families within ourselves. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================