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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8905081.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %POWER OF BEING PRESENT WITH PERSONAL INTEGRITY 890508 The power of a person being present is the power of being present with an integrity which resides in the unique person. It is not the power to react in a way which conforms to the particular expectations of those others who are present as reactors. Reactors who react to each other according to conformal patterns of mutual expectations do not have the power of persons who are present to each other as whole beings. Reactors are not unique beings who are present to each other as persons who are whole. Reactors do not respond to each other with integrity; they react to each other in the manner of objects acting objectively, and therefore predictably. Reactors cannot relate to each other with the kind of personal meaning which is characteristic of persons who are present to each other in intimately responsive ways, with honesty and mutual vulnerability made possible by being in secure contexts. Reactors react as they do within insecure contexts. Reactors do not feel free to be honestly responsive in responsible ways. Reactors feel defensive in insecure ways. Reactors keep their true feelings to themselves because they feel too insecure to share their true feelings with those who expect them to conform to some expected pattern of perceiving, feeling, thinking and expecting. The gift of being able to understand, predict and control future events is a double edged sword. People with the gift can control their lives to some extent; and can also try to control each other as they might control objects. When they do not recognize and honor the limits of their powers to understand, predict and control----they disintegrate their lives with destructive expectations and manipulations. They become reactors to each other's efforts at understanding, predicting and controlling each other's behaviors. They come to believe that their salvation lies in determining the future according to some pattern of proper desires and expectations. People who believe that they can control the course of future events naturally come to believe that they have the responsibility to properly control the future course of other people's behaviors. Such a belief leads them to try to be in control of more than they can control. In such efforts they cease to be present to each other as whole beings. They become reactors to each other and are not honestly present to each other in any personally meaningful ways. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================