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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %JACK ACCEPT JILL LACK CONTROL DESIRE EXPERIENCE 890421 Jack and Jill cannot control themselves or each other as fully as they have been taught that they should. Jack and Jill have been taught by their experiences in their community that they are acceptable when they behave according to proper expectations, when they are "good", not "evil". "Good" people are accepted. "Evil" people are rejected. "Good" people exercise proper control. "Evil" people are controlled by "evil" powers which are not under the control of "good" people. God is ultimately "good" and in control of all "good" people. The power of "evil" and "evil" people are all that God is not in control of, or so it seems to many good people. Jack and Jill have been taught by "good" people to try to be like God and to be in control of themselves and others. They have been taught that they will be acceptable people who may legitimately have secure self esteem; when they achieve such "goodness" through their own efforts. Salvation comes through achieving the proper kind of control of self and other, or does it? Maybe it does not? Now Jack and Jill have discovered that their life together is good when they accept each other's lack of control of self and other. They have discovered that "good" people are not honest about the importance of accepting each other's lack of control of self and other. Now they know that "good" people who do not accept each other's lack of control of self and others, are people who lack integrity; for they cannot be honest with each other regarding their past experiences, their present experiences, or their desires and fantasies. When "good" people try to control themselves and others through threats of rejection for lack of self control, they thereby undermine each other's power of personal integrity. They thereby motivate collusive games of mutual self deception, addictions and communal dependence upon codependents who foolishly encourage addicts to be dependent through manipulative rescues. Such dishonest behaviors entail much personal rejection, alienation and estrangement. People are strangers to each other, and insecure. Jack and Jill have discovered that they can give each other security in honest intimate relationships in which they accept each other's lack of control of self and others. Through such mutual acceptance of their inevitable lack of control, they give each other the security which they desire and need, and have the courage to be creative in the face of their daily dilemmas. Jack and Jill are discovering the nature of Love and the personal and communal integrity which are rooted in their ability to accept each other's lack of control. They are discovering that "good" people through their efforts to be in control generate much rejection, alienation, and disintegration which are the essence of evil. Now "Good" people are not pleased that Jack and Jill are making such discoveries and are not dedicated to maintaining proper control. "Good" people reject Jack and Jill for their lack of interest in proper self control. Now Jack and Jill live in Love in spite of their crucifixions at the hands of "good" people. Daily they are resurrected from their crucifixions by Love's acceptance of their inability to be in control, and by each other's acceptance and gift of security. Through the power of Love Jack and Jill are learning to have the courage to be creative integrators of fragmented lives, in spite of threats of rejection by those people who are trying to control them through manipulative expectations. Jack and Jill are putting personal and communal integrity ahead of maintaining the appearance of fulfilling manipulative expectations. They are peace makers and are blessed by Love. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================