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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CHILD ADDICT TEST PARENT GOD CODEPEND LOVE CARE 890116 The insecure child/addict is bound to test the love of the parent/God/codependent to see if there is enough love there to compensate for the sense of lack which is responsible for the insecurity. If the parent/God/codependent really loves, the other will take care of self in hours of need. The fool's way to test that love is to create hours of need by not taking care of self. This kind of testing does not generate a sense of security. The test is an inadequate test of love. There is always left a sense of doubt even when care is bestowed. Care which is bestowed in response to a test is recognized as not being genuine love. When genuine love is not known insecure people seek to find it. If all that the insecure people know is superficial care, insecure people are bound to test for love by asking for superficial codependent care. The insecurity which is generated by the inadequate care given in return---generates further felt need to test, to be dependent, to promote codependency on the part of the care giver. The games of the addict and the codependent do not generate genuine love or security. The game needs to be transcended by all persons involved in it, and victimized by it. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================