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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8812251.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ADDICTED TO LOVED PERSON COMPULSIVE FOCUS FIXES 881225 People can be come addicted to alcohol, drugs, work, sex, power; and to specific other persons who are near and dear to them. When two people become compulsively focused upon each other as fixes for their own inadequacies, they become addicted to each other; and become dishonest with each other about the nature of their personal relationships. Such dishonesty is characteristic of addiction. In such dishonest relationships there is mutual manipulation through mutual self deception and mutual coercion. Personal integrity is not fulfilled in such addictive personal relationships. Detachment is the process of transcending such an addiction to and with another person. Detachment entails the transcendence of the compulsive focus upon that which is the focus of the addiction; e.g., the other person in an addictive personal relationships. Detachment is apparently impossible when you are madly in love with the person to whom you are addicted. Detachment appears to be irresponsible with regards to the person you apparently love. How can you detach from the person who is apparently essential to your being? How can you reasonably be expected to give up what you have found in each other, and try to be yourself without any fix from the other upon whom you have come to depend? How can you be expected to give up your mutual dependence when it means everything to both of you? Detachment does not necessitate rejection, alienation, excommunication, or neglect. It does necessitate transcendence of compulsive preoccupation, fixation, exclusive attention, control, dishonesty, and the dependence upon fixes to dishonestly compensate for personal inadequacies. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================