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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8810191.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ACCEPT REJECTION FEELINGS EMOTIONS THOUGHTS OTHERS 881019 Personal and communal integrity depend critically upon who, is accepted and what of one's own self, is accepted into dialogue; or rejected into excommunication. If rejection of others and of aspects of one's own self is accepted as an acceptable means for attempting to control others/self, then it logically follows that disintegration will proceed as rejections are made and dialogue decreases. If unconditional acceptance of the propriety of being in dialogue with others, and with all aspects of one's own self is accepted as a communal norm, then it logically follows that integration will proceed as acceptances are made within the limitations of human time, energy, and communication skills. If unacceptable human emotions, thoughts, feelings, desires, etc. are rejected and excluded from honest dialogue; then disintegration will proceed. It is dangerous to accept the notion that there are unacceptable human emotions, thoughts, feelings, desires, etc. The acceptance of that notion lays the foundations for disintegration of personal and communal integrity. There is a fundamental difference between approval of, persons and acceptance into dialogue of persons. We cannot deal wisely with whomever we cannot accept into dialogue. To excommunicate people from dialogue is to put them out of range of wise consideration and coping. It is proper to accept into dialogue others, emotions, thoughts, feelings, desires, etc. regarding which judgement has not been made; otherwise there can be no informed basis for making wise judgements. Judgement does not have to do with acceptance or rejection of people with regard to dialogue. To accept the notion that negative judgments imply exclusion from dialogue, is to lay the foundations for disintegration of both personal and communal integrity. The community which insists on keeping all members of the community within dialogue, thereby lays the foundations for the enjoyment of both personal and communal integrity. The hazard lies in exclusion of some members of the community from opportunities for dialogue, for any reason whatsoever. If some members of the community are excluded from dialogue for some reason, it follows logically that members of the community will exclude from intra-personal dialogue those aspects of self which remind self of those persons who are excluded from opportunities for communal dialogue. Disintegration sets in. Intra-personal patterns of dialogue and repressions mirror communal dialogue and repressions; they are interdependent and inter-causal. The two patterns cannot really be separated from each other by any form of repression. To see reality otherwise is an illusion created by collusions and the games of mutual self deception characteristic of addicts and their supportive codependents. To promote personal and communal integrity we must insure that no members of the community, and no aspects of self awareness, are excluded from opportunities for open and honest dialogue. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================