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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ESSENCE OF LOVES 880327 Paternalistic love seeks its own fulfillment in coercive control which is disciplined by certain ideals. Authentic love seeks integrative fulfillment in behavior which is free from coercive control. Paternalistic love is certain that it knows wherein others's fulfillment can be assured. Authentic love knows others in integrative behavior, wherein they become free to be known as they are in truth. Paternalistic love is overly confident of its own knowledge of the truth within its own convictions. Authentic love encourages others to gain confidence in the fellowship of shared convictions and mutual respect. Paternalistic love seeks to be fulfilled in gaining control over others' behaviors, to assure their conformity to certain ideals. Authentic love is fulfilled in letting others go in freedom, to fulfill their creative potentials in integrative behavior. Paternalistic love permits restrained enjoyment as a reward for proper behavior. Authentic love enjoys other people's creative integrative behavior. Paternalistic love seeks to achieve the fruits of authentic love, without knowing or accepting its spirit. Authentic love accepts, knows and enjoys its fruits in the fellowship of those who accept and know each other in its integrative spirit. Paternalistic love in fear rejects the spirit of authentic love, because authentic love rejects the ideal of being in control. Authentic love in confidence accepts and affirms others involved in integrative behavior, and knows no need to be in control. Paternalistic love feels the need to be in control, because it does not know or accept the spirit of authentic love. Authentic lovers accept and know each other without the need to be in control, because they have been known, accepted and affirmed in the spirit of authentic love. Paternalistic lovers attach themselves to each other in desperate efforts to save themselves and each others. Authentic lovers know they are safe in the knowledge of mutual acceptance and respect, guided by the spirit of authentic love. Paternalistic lovers can become authentic lovers if they accept the spirit of authentic love, and let themselves become known within the fellowship of authentic love. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================