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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %SEXUAL DISHONESTY AND VIOLENCE 880224 Sexual dishonesty and violence are two sides of the same coin. Sexual dishonesty involves being dishonest about sexual desire: pretending to be sexually interested, pretending to be sexually excited, or pretending not to be sexually interested/excited. Pretense may be motivated by selfish desires to manipulate others for non-sexual purposes; e.g., to gain social acceptability by conformity to social expectations and conceptions of what is sexually proper, or macho, and so worthy of respect. Sexual dishonesty confuses sexual motivations with non-sexual motivations and often entails the manipulation of appearances through concealment or dishonest acting. In sexually dishonest behavior people may pretend to be sexually involved in order to achieve ideals, values, goals, purposes which are not sexual; or people may pretend not to be sexually involved in order to achieve ideals, values, goals and purposes which are sexual. In either case there is dishonesty, confusion, and the violation of truth. When truth is violated there are likely to be other associated forms of violence. The violence done to truth in sexual dishonesty is intimately connected with other forms of violence which involve sexuality. Most intimate honesty brings people close to sexual interests and to the need to be honest about those sexual interests. If persons in intimate relationships are unable to be sexually honest with each other they are bound to do violence to sexual truths and feelings, and so set the stage for various forms of sexual violence. In a sexually confused community it is not obvious how to be sexually honest with integrity. People who with integrity are sexually honest with each other may be regarded as people who lack integrity. People who are sexually dishonest with each other may be admired as people of respectable integrity. Such confusion tends to promote further sexual dishonesty, further violence to sexual truths and so leads to other forms of violence. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================