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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8706091.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %FEAR ONLY DISINTEGRATION 870609 Most fear is misdirected. Misdirected fear leads to disintegration which merits genuine fear. Fear only disintegration. Fear not rejection by those who lack integrity, for rejection by them is not of great significance. It signifies their disintegration, not your own disintegration. You can not control their disintegration. You can accept them into dialogue, if they accept you and do not reject you. In mutual acceptance disintegration is thwarted. Fear mutual rejection and avoid it through acceptance. If you are accepting toward those who reject you, you thereby avoid mutual rejection and the disintegration of your self; and offer the possibility of integrity to others. You can not go beyond such acceptance to the control of disintegration; it is not in your power. Much that you have been taught to fear does not merit fear. Direct your fear to that which merits fear, the disintegration which fear occasions. In fear people let channels of communication break down. In fear people lose touch with themselves and each other; not knowing themselves or each other---they fear that which they do not know through lack of familiarity. True knowledge entails familiarity. Fear the breakdown of dialogue which essential to communal integrity; do not fear rejection by those who can not offer integrity because they lack integrity. The addictive person seeks to control through the threat of rejection of those people who desire not to be controlled and will not to be controlled. The addictive person by threatening rejection indicates a lack of personal integrity and a lack of any dedication to communal integrity. Addictive persons and co-dependents need to let go of their fear of lack of control, and to accept the serenity which mutual acceptance without attempts-at- control brings. They need not fear each other's rejection, for people who have integrity do not threaten rejection; communities which have communal integrity do not reject their members because of their imperfections. Fear disintegration, and chose integrative behaviors. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================