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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8704261.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CONFESSING ACCEPTANCE OF IMPOTENCE 870426 People to whom it is ultimately important to attempt to be in control can not accept the fact of their impotence to control their own lives or the lives of others. They can not accept or confess their addictions to various presumed means to control: alcohol, drugs, money, spending, food, power, work, sex, weapons, defenses, moralities, ethics, etiquette, etc. They can not confess or accept their own alienation from others due to their attempts to be in control of processes and relationships which are essentially beyond human control. Dis-eased people who are ill-at-ease with their lack of control can not become well and enjoy tranquility until they accept and internalize a view of life and of themselves within which they have no need to be in control. They need to detach themselves from views of life in which it is essential to always strive to be in control of self and others. They need to learn that it is not essential to attach themselves to others as a way of gaining control over them, and that human relationships are more meaningful and fulfilling when people are not attached to each other in attempts to be in control. Detachment points to losing the need to be in control, not to becoming indifferent and alienated. Detachment is possible within a view of what it is to be fully human, a view which does not require humans to try to be in control of anybody. People who enjoy their fulfillment within such a view gladly confess the freedom and fulfillment they find through the acceptance of their impotence to be in control of human behavior, and confess their findings without a sense of loss, guilt, regret or frustration. Their confessions are good news to those willing to accept them as such. Power to control is not gained by pretending to have that which one does not have. By confessing that one does not have power to control---one does not lose something which one has. There is nothing to lose (but self deception) in confessing that one does not have the power to be in control. There is much to be gained in being open and honest about how things really are. One can then deal realistically with what one can do to move toward loving lives with communal and personal integrity. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================