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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8704231.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %USER CONTROL OF PERSONS DETACHED 870423 Alienation is a consequence of using persons in a detached way. What is alienative treatment? Treating people as objects with objectivity, as means to unilaterally chosen ends, as a manager controlling objects without a will of their own, as "its" in "person"-"object" relationships; while avoiding any personal presence of one's own spirit in the relationship: such treatment is alienative and so disintegrative. Such detachment is promoted as a means to control, not as a means to breaking off attempts at being in control. Detachment may be used as a means for either gaining control, or as a way of letting go of attempts to be in control. There are important differences between the two kinds of detachment. Attachment is often part of the process of trying to be in control; asserting ownership and power to dominate, to control. Attachment as a means to being in control is not the same as intensive personal presence, involvement, spiritual participation, intimacy, vulnerability. Attachment as a means to being in control is not mutual in an integrative way; it is alienative in that it involves attempts to use people, paradoxically, in a detached way. Attachment as a means to being in control involves personal/spiritual detachment; avoidance of personal involvement, personal presence and of personal presentation. I-Thou relationships are avoided when seeking to be in control. "Hello" is not said in a spiritual way, but in a manipulative way. In the I-It way the I by seeking to control "it" becomes an object in an I-It objective world of cause and effects which can be understood, predicted and controlled in objective ways. Personal presence, participation, intimacy and dialogue entails vulnerability. Vulnerability is inconsistent with being in control. Those who feel that it is important to be in control must, therefore, avoid vulnerability. Yet, vulnerability is intimately related to security: security is the freedom to be safely vulnerable. Thus people who choose to try to be in control can not be free to be safely vulnerable and so can not be secure; they must be defensive by their own choice, and so can not be secure. This is the trap of all forms of addiction to: alcohol, drugs, sex, work, weapons, spending, eating, power, manipulation, etc. Addicts lack self-esteem, seek to compensate through attempts at control, alienate themselves, avoid intimacy and vulnerability, and so disintegrate themselves and others. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================