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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8605011.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CONFIDENCE IN INTIMACY 860501 It is difficult to develop intimate personal relationships without personal confidence. If rejection is feared, confidence is likely to be undermined. Rejection may be anticipated without fear if one has high self esteem. One may be maturely concerned about possible rejection without fear if one has high self esteem. One need not fear that which one does not want, yet which one anticipates may come to pass, if one is mature enough and has self esteem which will not be destroyed by others' rejections. Such healthy self esteem is rooted in more than the acceptance of mere mortals who can not love unconditionally; i.e., who tend to love only conditionally. The enjoyment of unconditional love builds self esteem and self confidence; which in turn make possible our entry into intimate personal relationships within which to enjoy unconditional love. Integration follows. The experience of conditional love undermines our self esteem and self confidence; which in turn make difficult any entry into intimate personal relationships, and so lead to starvation due to the lack of unconditional love. Disintegration follows. The flip side of the coin of conditional acceptance, is conditional rejection. The flip side of the coin of reward, is punishment. The flip side of the coin of the concept "good for acceptance", is "evil and rejected". Personal rejection is not the logical consequence of judgment of personal failure, incompetence, error, etc. Personal rejection is a sign of emotional immaturity on the part of the one resorting to rejection, and promotes immaturity on the part of all members of the community. People can not be confident while entering into intimate personal relationships within a society within which personal rejection is common. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================