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This-essay is a7711062.htm which is available at the web-site See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %DESIRES' EXPRESSIONS 771106 Desires' expressions take a variety of forms: They may lead to dreams, imagination, and fantasy--as relatively risk-free ways of working out the possible consequences of actually seeking to fulfill the desires. We, especially as children, play games in which we act out roles which we desire to play in reality--again to test the viability and integrity of our desires. Often it is helpful to talk about our desires with someone whom we trust--to gain an independent perspective of their viability and integrity. These expressions of desires are ways of avoiding the mistakes which we may make if we express our desires in direct action without prior consideration of the possible implications of actually attempting to fulfill our desires in real action--without previous examination through dreams, imagination, fantasy, games, and trustful discussion. Some of our desires tend to motivate behaviors which are disturbing to other people. Society tends to try to inhibit such "anti-social" behavior by inhibiting the desires which motivate the behavior. The inhibiting mechanisms in a tragic ways inhibit not only the "anti- social" behavior, but also the helpful dreams, imagination, fantasy, games, and discussions through which we examine the natural consequences of seeking to realize those desires in real action. The inhibiting mechanisms are often counter-productive: they undermine the self- regulating mechanisms by which healthy people conclude that certain desires are not worthy of realization through real action. When the self-regulating mechanisms have been undermined there is increased need for external control through the intensification of the kinds of inhibiting mechanisms which undermined the self-regulating mechanisms. The process involves a viscous feed-back loop which is usually not recognized in spite of its bitter fruits. The humane and loving thing to do is to promote the functioning of the healthy self-regulating mechanisms by encouraging the open consideration of the full range of human desires--especially discussions of desires which are conventionally tabooed. The revelation of the existence of desires should never be the occasion for punishment, put-downs, disapproval, rejection, excommunication. For people to make wise decisions they must be free to talk about all possible forms of behavior--so as to understand their natural consequences and make prudent decisions on the basis of good information. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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This-essay is a7711062.htm which is available at the web-site These 5 lines echo top lines. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One