This-essay is a7310102.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS 731010 When there are factors which inhibit full honesty intimate relationships are impossible. In such situations persons are not fully real persons, but rather play games with each other according to implicit rules of behavior. Sometimes it is as if each person was on a stage carrying a script and playing a role written down by a play-write. Individuals who from earliest childhood have found it necessary to play games---may not be aware of the reality of real persons who can and do enter into intimate relationships. Such persons may (in their very earliest years) have sustained such great personal pain when they have attempted intimate relationships---that now they in self defense programmed themselves to always play games. Persons who are in the habit of playing games and roles---will find it difficult to participate in authentic meeting; for therein it is impossible to remain in full control. If one's self image is that of a static being whose identity is fixed, any authentic meeting is dangerous; for that static identity may be destroyed through the personal change which is part of authentic meeting. Only persons who have a dynamic self image are free to choose to enter into intimate relationships which are genuine. Automatons have a static character---and so cannot not enter into intimate relation-ships. Creative behavior-modification is possible only through authentic meeting. In contrast, through personal violence and full control-techniques---the other can be caused to play games with the self. Yet the games which will be played are not under the full control of the self. The other may select unanticipated strategies in an effort to win the game. The typical non-science student is probably more perceptive of persons than is the typical scientist. If the scientist avoids intimate relationships with such students---and chooses instead a manipulative approach involving the playing of games; the student who is more versatile in personal relationships is likely to win the games. In the long run, the manipulative approach is likely to have low survival value. The survival of science is thus likely to depend on attractive scientists with dynamic self-images. (c) 1999 by Paul A. Smith in GO: essayz.com "Search for Integrity and Honesty" (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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