KEYS **** When, through a death or another disintegration; we lose a major integrative support which we have trusted fully and depended upon fully - - - we must acknowledge and mourn the loss, and seek new well integrated foci that we can trust. Trying to find and cling-to-the-utterly-lost-and-not-recoverable-past-integrity-in any new person or community - - - will entail dishonesty that will block the recognition of any sustainable new focus of integrative attention and love. We need to be faithful to the integrity we have known - - - and be willing to discover new forms of integrity in unique new relationships with new people who are also seeking to create new forms of integrity - - - that are worthy of admiration, respect, trust and support. To avoid tragic new developments - - - we must seek to avoid complicity in: 1. Collusive-Games-of-Mutual-Self-Deception, 2. Being Dishonest about Our-Loss, 3. Trying to force new people into old roles where they will not fit, 4. Trying to be Totally-in-Control of Reflexive-Relationships. 5. Trying to be Totally-Invulnerable.