KEYS **** It is one thing to talk, write and lecture - - - about Mitigating-Our-Own-Alienative-Conflicts. It is quite a different "thing" to be caught-up-in real-life-situations where we ourselves are involved in Alienative-Conflicts within which, we need to Help-Others To-Mitigate Our-in-Common Alienative-Conflicts! It is unlikely that our most basic instincts will reliably lead us in the direction of Helping-Others To-Mitigate Our-Own-In-Common Alienative-Conflicts. There is a Great-Need to work-together to develop and implement Work-Shops within which Intentional-People can Work-Together to develop the essential-skills that can be used to Facilitate-the-Gracious-Mitigation of Our-In-Common-Alienative-conflicts. We need to evolve some consensuses about suggested/recommended "Best-Practices". 1. Focus-Intentionally and Listen-Carefully-and-Attentively before saying anything in response to what others say and do. 2. Seek to get confirmations that you can paraphrase-satisfactorily - - - what others have tried to communicate through their words and behaviors - - - to convince them that you understand "where they are coming from"; what their perspectives points of view are - - - regarding the "shared-conflicts". Beware of having the attitude that Our-Own "Shared-Conflicts" belong to other people and are-their-fault! 3. Seek-to-discern what-other-people believe their-own-primary-basic-healthy-needs-are - - - which are Not-Being-Met and/or are Being-Threatened. Seek to obtain confirmations that your discernments are reliable-and-accurate! a. Describe what you have discerned, and ask for confirmations that your discernments are reliable/accurate! b. If you fail to receive encouraging confirmations; graciously continue the discernment/confirmation efforts! 4. Seek to understand what "positions" people have taken and why those "positions" have been taken. It is likely that it can be helpful to shift from talking about and negotiating about "positions" that have been taken; to seek common understandings about what all-others' own-primary-basic-needs-truly-are. Focusing upon "positions-taken" is often inherently-alienative - - - because people who are "defending-positions-taken" have usually adopted the mind-sets and attitudes of Domineering-Bullies who are engaged in Playing-Collusive-Games-of-Mutual-Self-Deception. 5. In the language of the books: "Getting to YES", "Getting past NO" and "Getting Together" it is unlikely that we will ask the helpful questions and seek the essential insights - - - so long as we have assumed that we can get ahead unilaterally at the expense of many other people - - - who are more-vulnerable-people than we are. See the writings of Fisher and Ury with such words in book titles; and read Walter-Wink's book "The-Powers-That-Be"; and read Martin Buber's book translated from the original Poetic-German text, into English as: "I and Thou" and as "I and You".