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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ESSENTIAL KEYS FOUNDATION MEANS UNDERSTAND RESOLVE 050814 %CONFLICTS FIGHTS WARS TERROR ATTACK INSECURITY SIN 050814 %THREAT DEFENSIVE DEFEND ROOT META TENSION CONTENDS 050814 %POWERS THAT BE COLLUSIVE GAMES MUTUAL SELF DECEP 050814 %UNKNOWN HIDDEN DISHONEST SECRET MYSTERY SACRED GOD 050814 %TEXT SCRIPT COMMAND DEMAND PROSCRIPTION PRESCRIPTS 050814 There are times when to understand and resolve our conflicts with others --- we must entertain thoughts that some of the following may possibly be the roots of our difficulties in trying to understand and resolve our conflicts with other people: 1. They feel threatened and are being defensive; possibly with the source of the perceived threat unclear and the nature of the hoped-for-defense unclear. 2. They feel terrorized by a source, power, reality, person, or group --- that again may be unknown/unclear; and may, or may not, engender a perceived threat. 3. They feel uncomfortably vulnerable and insecure; and do not know how to gain comfort, invulnerability or security. 4. They have never enjoyed being fully accepted just as they are, included just as they are, at-ease, secure, healthy, etc. --- and have always been taught to look-out-for-themselves-defensively --- as their primary- concern; maybe as their ultimate-concern. 5. They have never known anybody whom they could trust in an unqualified way; anyone who demonstrated authentic concern for their integrity, health or welfare. 6. They have always been made to feel inferior, vulnerable, not-good-enough, etc. 7. They have been taught that their salvation depends upon themselves, specific other persons, some specific-group, The Powers That Be, or some unknown Superior-Power --- acting unilaterally. The above list is probably NOT complete. The point is that to understand and be able to cooperate with others in resolving conflicts --- we may need to become aware of possibilities which have not yet come to mind, and think about the implications of those possibilities. In particular it may be that What-is-Most-Important in our conflicts, dilemmas, mis-understandings, dysfunctional-relationships, etc. may NOT be: 1. How rational we or others are. 2. How well informed we or others are. 3. How well-intentioned we or others are. 4. How doctrinally-correct we or others are. 5. How moral or ethical we or others are. 6. How well-educated or well-trained we/they are. 7. How well-cultured we or others are. 8. How successful and/or honored we/they are. 9. How wealthy and/or healthy we/they are. 10. How spiritual and/or religious we/they are. In fact, What-is-Most-Important in our conflicts, dilemmas, misunderstandings, dysfunctional-relationships, etc. may be Effectively-Pointed-To above the just previous list of ten items. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in "Search for Honesty and Integrity" (On Being Yourself Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================