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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %EASILY RECOGNIZED ADDICTIONS ADDICTS CODEPENDENTS+030923 %EXCESSIVE EXTREMISTS SERVICES SERVANTS GOODS SINS+030923 %HELPERS KINDNESS GENEROUS PATIENT NARCISSISTIC IT+030923 %EGOCENTRIC SELFISH DOMINEERING DOMINATION DEVILS+030923 %SETTING ENFORCING STANDARDS DYSFUNCTIONAL BEHAVES+030923 %PLEASE RESCUE INTRUDE PRIVATE INTIMACY SEXUAL GOD 030923 It is easier to recognize the disease of "addiction" than the disease of "codependence" because: 1. "Addicts" are consumers of goods and services; while "codependents" are providers of goods and services. 2. "Addicts make demands upon others; while "codependents" try to help, be kind, be generous and be patient with others. 3. "Addicts" are more obviously narcissistic, ego- centered, selfish, manipulative, domineering; than are "codependents". 4. "Addicts" have more difficulty getting and keeping jobs; than do "codependents". 5. "Addicts" are more inclined to become involved in setting and enforcing standards; than are "codependents". Because it is more difficult to recognize the ways in which "codependents" are dysfunctional --- than it is to recognize the ways in which "addicts" are dysfunctional --- it is more difficult to help "codependents" to stop their behavior patterns which are dysfunctional; e.g.: 1. Compensating for "addicts" excessive demands as consumers and for their failures to be productive members of the community. 2. Being excessively ready, willing and able to "please" "addicts" by yielding to: demands, commandments, expectations, judgments, threats, pretentiousness. 3. Being excessively "other oriented", "rescue- oriented", submissive, compliant, "good", etc. 4. Being exclusively willing to yield to the demands of domineering bosses, co workers, and work place needs --- in order to be sure of keeping a job which will bring in money to keep the family together. 5. Being excessively willing meet the standards set by other people --- in order to appear to everybody as "good" people; but not assertive enough to participate in open and honest dialogue about what are the essential foundations for both personal and communal integrations and integrities. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================