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This is http://www.essayz.com/b0308261.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CHILDREN GROWING ADOLESCENCE RECOGNIZE FRIENDS SIN 030826 %ALIENATION ESTRANGEMENT EXCOMMUNICATION DEVILS GOD 030826 %RISKS TRUSTED LOVERS INTIMACIES GUARANTEE PROMISED 030826 %FAITHFUL LOYAL GANG DOMINANT LEADERS CONTROLLERS 030826 %TRULY CONTROL OUTCOMES AUTHENTIC RELATIONSHIPS WAY 030826 %ABUSED NEGATIONS AFFIRMATIONS PERVERSIONS TRUTHS 030826 Children growing into adolescence need to learn how to reliably recognize which people, friends and groups --- merit high levels of respect and trust; and which of them --- do not merit high levels of respect and trust. There is always some risk in trusting any person or friend --- because nobody is perfect; i.e., without flaw. No person can truly guarantee that they will be able to be and do what they truly and wisely intend to be and do; within their personal relationships. This is because we cannot truly control all aspects of the outcomes of even our most healthy relationships. What then, are some of the signals of the presence of real danger within our relationships; i.e., signs that we need to be truly cautious in how far we trust particular people, friends and groups? The following texts point to frequent signs of serious danger. Be cautious in the presence of these signs --- especially when you are trying to be helpful: 1. Dishonesty, deception and misleading behaviors. 2. Coercive, manipulative and violent behaviors. 3. Attempts to control or dominate other people. 4. Pretending to be superior to others as persons. 5. Arrogance, secretiveness and self-righteousness. 6. Greed, self-centeredness, narcissism, egotism. 7. Exclusivity as regards ideals, values and people. 8. An exclusive focus on technical questions/issues. 9. Failing to respect complementary kinds of people. 10. Not being reverent toward any wonderful reality. 11. Excommunications, alienations and estrangements. 12. Addictions, codependent supporters & collusions. It is helpful to turn the above warnings into complementary positive statements; e.g., to describe positive signs that point to the kinds of people and personal relationships that truly do merit high levels of respect, honor, trust --- and perhaps even merit reverence. Usually our positive affirmations are less likely to be abused, than are our negative statements --- such as those negative ones above. We need to clarify which attitudes and behaviors are truly virtuous; and clarify those attitudes and behaviors that are signs of serious danger. The above set of suggestions is not complete. There are many complementary additions which need to be offered and discussed by growing young people! Be true, kind and gracious to yourself and to many other people in augmenting the list. Maintain balance. Beware of extremism and extremists. Shalom! (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================