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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %MATURE HEALTHY TRUE LOVERS DISTINGUISH RESPOND 030702 %DIVERSE PATTERNS MOTIVATION ASSUMPTION ATTITUDE 030702 %LOGIC REASON DEMONSTRATE DOMINATE OBJECTS SCIENCE 030702 %REFLEXIVE GREEDY SEXUAL DISHONEST COLLUSION DEVILS 030702 %LACK ABSENCE MISSING FORGOTTEN IGNORED VIRTUES GOD 030702 %AFFECT EMOTION FEAR TRAUMA IRRATIONAL PAIN HURTS 030702 To become and be mature and healthy true-lovers --- we need to learn how to distinguish between, and to respond helpfully to, each of the divers PATTERNS of: motivations, assumptions, attitudes, logics and reasoning demonstrated by: domineering people, true lovers, objective scientists, reflexive philosophers, greedy hoarders, sexually connected people, dishonest colluders, honest peacemakers, desperate militarists, technocrats, etc. No FINITE set of texts, scriptures, commandments, facts, doctrines, laws, etc. --- can assure us that we will become and continue to be mature and true-lovers --- without our having become involved personally in truly intimate and personally reflexive relationships --- with true-lovers who demonstrate true-love to and for us --- by how they approach and participate reflexively in cooperation with us in our personal relationships. We may not become involved with any true lovers in any such healing relationships --- for a variety of reasons, such as: 1. There being no true-lovers among the members of our families, associates and neighbors. 2. Our rejections of the advances and courtships of true-lovers who do approach us in Love. 3. Our being distracted by, inhibited by, and/or blocked by --- efforts of domineering people to protect themselves and their Domination System --- against the: civil, hospitable, gracious, kind, hopeful and generous efforts of true-lovers --- to facilitate both personal and communal integrations and integrities in our communities. 4. Our feeling insecure, embarrassed and terrified by being in the presence of true-lovers who are together enjoying their intimate healthy relationships in the presence of Love. 5. Our being unable to distinguish between the threats of the defensive efforts of domineering people --- and the risks of rushing into intimate and sexual relationships in the absence of true knowledge and understanding of what those risks are --- and how to deal with those risks in ways which are: honest, healthy, civil, hospitable, gracious, kind, hopeful and generous. 6. Our failures to recognize what is tragically lacking in our own dysfunctional relationships; yet is mysteriously present in the relationships of those true- lovers whom we cannot recognize as such for many reasons such as those pointed to above. 7. Our failures to distinguish clearly between the contrasting logics suggested just below: a. Letting go of our domineering self- defensive behaviors; whereby we could learn to facilitate the true works of Love. b. Letting go of the true works of Love, whereby we can facilitate the defense of "The Domination System" which we idolize as idolaters. 8. Not clearly seeing the difference between the demands of domineering people who require that we conform to the demands of "The Domination System"; on the one hand, and on the other hand the calls of Love to be sacrificially and prudently: generous, hospitable, open, honest, civil, and wise --- as peacemakers. Drawing distinctions as suggested above may involve accurate descriptions --- but it may not involve any: judgments, punishments, or denigrations. However, some people may not recognize the absence of the latter alienative kinds of activities --- believing that such alienative activities are inevitably present when accurate and often embarrassing descriptions are offered. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================