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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %SPILLING OUR SECRETS DOMINEERING OPEN HONEST DEVIL 030517 %TOTALLY ABSOLUTELY PERFECT PERSONAL COMMUNAL LOVER 030517 %FORCE COERCION TRUTH GRACIOUS PERSONAL INTEGRITIES 030517 %COMMUNAL SANCTUARIES RECONCILING HEALING DEMAND 030517 %READY WILLING ABLE DISCERN UNDERSTAND ACCEPT GOODS 030517 It is generally good to be open and honest. But must we be totally open and honest with the "Secret Police" of "The Domination System"? Is total openness and honesty always the way toward facilitating and promoting personal and communal integrity? It is one thing to act and speak in ways which are dishonest. It is another thing to act and speak in domineering ways to try to force domineering people to see things our way. How is one to draw the boundary between speaking and acting in domineering ways (to force domineering people to see things our way) and speaking and acting while trying to be open and honest in gracious and reconciling ways? Love does not demand that we force people to see truth, as we see truth. Some of what we see as truth --- is a mortal threat to domineering supporters of "The Domination System". We cannot in a simplistic way be totally open and honest about such threatening truths --- without ourselves becoming domineering people! There are some truths which domineering people are not ready to understand as truths --- no matter how hard we try to try to be open and honest about such truths. Our responsibility to be open and honest is thus limited --- by domineering people's limited willingness and ability to discern truths which they fear. We are NOT likely to promote either personal or communal integrity by trying to force on domineering people the truths which they are not ready, willing and/or able to discern in any truthful way. Communicating to them our "hidden" truths may be impossible, and attempting to do so forcefully --- may not be helpful. Being domineering is not helpful when it comes to sharing difficult truths! It is not being truthful to accept at face value questions which coerce one into accepting false assumptions --- thereby imposing bias upon any response which does not challenge the framing of the question. Often the questions which are framed by domineering people do not leave open the possibility of responding in any way which reveals the important truths which pertain to the evident reason for framing the biased question. Domineering people resist having their assumptions challenged. They make it difficult to respond to their questions in ways which reveal the truth. They demand that we respond in ways which shows respect for their collusive games of mutual self deception. When dealing with domineering people we need to be constantly on guard against becoming like them --- in our efforts to transcend and subvert their life-style. We cannot hope to be honest --- if we deal with them, as they deal with us! (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================