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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %DOMINEERING PEOPLE OFFEND CRIME DIFFERENT CONFORM+021215 %EXPECTATION UNITY AGREEMENT VIOLENCE VIOLATION SIN+021215 %HOLY SACRED HEAVEN GOD CHANGED DESTROYED GOOD LOVE+021215 %TOLERANT COOPERATE OPEN HONESTY DIALOGUE COLLUSION+021215 %PERSONAL COMMUNAL INTEGRITIES FACILITATE CIVILITY+021215 %RESOLVE CONFLICTS HUMILITY PATIENCE PEACEMAKERS 021215 Often domineering people are offended by people whose only "crime" is the "crime" of being "different"; i.e., of not conforming to the domineering people's expectations of submission to control. Domineering people often expect to enjoy unity via other people's conformity. "Different" people by being "different" violate domineering people's expectations --- and so are experienced by domineering people as "violent" people; i.e., as people who violate "right" expectations. Domineering people's expectations are presumed to be holy/sacred --- never to be violated. People who violate holy/sacred things are thought of as "evil" people. Thus, "different" people are perceived and experienced as "evil" people who must be changed or destroyed --- in order that all created things may be as "good" as they have been in previous "good" times. How are we to differentiate between real crimes in which truly violent people truly harm innocent people --- and occasions in which innocent people who are different from domineering people --- are perceived/experienced by domineering people as "different", "offensive" and "violent"; just because they fail to conform themselves to what are often unknown expectations of domineering people? It will help to keep in mind the following questions: 1. Are the offended-people overall reasonably tolerant most of the time; i.e., willing to cooperate with and participate in open and honest dialogue with different people who are complementary to the offended people --- by bringing to dialogue a range of helpful insights, perspectives, talents, skills, and ways of approaching situations where cooperation is needed? 2. Are the offended-people consistently honest with themselves and others about their own and other people's limitations, doubts, uncertainties, mistakes, weaknesses, needs, etc? 3. Are the offended-people overall: civil, kind, gracious, hospitable, generous, considerate, etc? 4. Have the offended-people demonstrated that they are truly committed to facilitating and promoting both personal and communal kinds of integrity so that the community as a whole will be healed and healthy? 5. Have the offended-people demonstrated a true interest in resolving conflicts between competing ideals, values and principles --- for the benefit of all people who have been involved in such conflicts? 6. Have the offended-people demonstrated humility, patience, good-will and generosity in their dealings with most other members of their communities? 7. Have the offended-people worked as peacemakers who seek to promote reconciliation and healing where there have been demonstrations of misunderstanding, confusion, contentiousness and impatience? (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================