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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %BONDING VULNERABILITY RISKS INHERENT INTIMATE SINS+021207 %ABLE HEALTHY SANCTUARY ANGRY REVENGEFUL IDOL GOD+021207 %EVOLUTION MATURITY COURTSHIP LOVE SEXUALITY DEVILS+021207 %RECOGNIZE UNHEALTHY BEHAVIORS WARNING SIGNS POWERS+021207 %DOMINATION COERCION CONTROL COOPERATE SECURITY+021207 %EQUALITY BALANCE SHARING CIVILITY HOSPITALITY GOOD 021207 Bonding-vulnerability is inherent in all opportunities to form intimate friendships which entail both vulnerability and security within healthy sanctuary communities. The evolution of maturity as regards human relationships entails learning how to recognize unhealthy human behaviors which are warning signs that a person is likely to attempt to become coercive, violent, dominant and/or in control; rather than likely to cooperate in forming a healthy friendship which might evolve by gentle stages --- through deeper levels of intimacy toward the possibilities of sexual intimacy, vulnerability & security. The mature person knows how to anticipate attempts by emotionally immature people to become dominant within friendships, intimate relationships, and sexual intimacies. Maturity entails being able to recognize the warning signs that a person is likely to try to dominate their-human-relationships. The mature- person knows how to approach such a domineering- person in ways which open up the possibilities of healthy non-domineering-relationships --- in spite of the person's tendencies toward trying to be in-control --- as the-dominant- person in each of their-relationships. Humane sexual relationships entail high levels of both vulnerability and security. Mature humans who are involved in a mature sexual relationship are equally vulnerable to each other -- in balanced ways which make it possible for them to be safely vulnerable with each other --- in the absence of any attempt by any person to be in-control of their relationship --- or of any person's experience of their relationship. Such maturity rarely develops quickly. It is risky to presume to develop intimacy quickly with a stranger --- because sexual relationships entail high levels of vulnerability, danger and risk --- which are usually unknown to the novice --- who has not been well educated in regards to the risks of human sexual relationships and intimacies. The process of human maturation is one in which humans learn how to become more cooperative with each other by committing themselves to facilitating and promoting both personal and communal forms of integrations and integrities which demonstrate: honesty, openness, balance, mutuality, wisdom, gentleness, humility, civility, hospitality, authenticity, responsiveness, responsibility, prudence, vulnerability and security. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================