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This is http://www.essayz.com/b0211091.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %QUALITIES INTEGRITIES LIVES PERSONAL COMMUNAL GODS+021109 %ESSENTIAL FOUNDATIONS INTEGRITY FOCUS RELATIONSHIP+021109 %FRAME QUESTIONS PRUDENT WISDOM THINK CONSIDER EVIL+021109 %DICHOTOMOUS DEMAND COMMAND PRESCRIPTIONS SCRIPTURE+021109 %ARROGANT SELF RIGHTEOUS JUDGMENT LEGALISTS LAWYER+021109 %SELF EGO CENTERED NARCISSISTIC FEAR ANXIETY DRIVEN 021109 The qualities of our lives depend upon the qualities of our RELATIONSHIPS with other people. It is therefore prudent to frame our questions in terms of how what we think, decide, and do --- will affect the qualities of our RELATIONSHIPS. The qualities of our RELATIONSHIPS depend both on what we think, decide, and do --- and how others respond to what we think, decide and do. It is therefore prudent to take into consideration how others are likely to respond to what we think, decide and do. Our questions are framed in flawed ways if we frame them UNILATERALLY, without taking into consideration how others are likely to respond to what we think, decide and do. We are involved in flawed RELATIONSHIPS --- if we are thinking, deciding and behaving in UNILATERAL/DOMINEERING ways. We are involved in flawed RELATIONSHIPS --- if we are unaware of how others are responding to what we think, decide and do --- for then our thinking, decisions and behaviors are inevitably based upon ignorance, mis- information, bias and prejudice. We must work to avoid being self-centered, ego- centric, narcissistic --- by working on being focused upon the qualities of our RELATIONSHIPS in keeping with the above considerations. Such work will include working on: 1. Actively listening to different kinds of people to discern sympathetically their responses, attitudes, feelings, etc. --- in regards to what we think, decide and do within our RELATIONSHIPS. 2. Discerning how we may be out of balance as regards our own thinking, attitudes and priorities --- as we participate in our RELATIONSHIPS. 3. Resolving both conscious and unconscious conflicts among the ideals, values, principles, and policies which we and others (including our enemies) affirm as worthy of respect, honor, trust and support--- within our RELATIONSHIPS. 4. Avoiding yielding to the temptation to adopt domineering thought and behavior patterns --- when we are dealing with domineering people who are involved within our RELATIONSHIPS. 5. Recognizing the kinds of RELATIONSHIPS which DO/DO-NOT merit our respect, honor, trust and support -- - as we work on building healthy, integrative and balanced RELATIONSHIPS. To be able to helpfully improve our RELATIONSHIPS we need (consciously and/or unconsciously) to recognize the STRUCTURE of our RELATIONSHIPS; i.e., to recognize and honestly talk about: 1. Who is vulnerable and who is domineering? 2. The kinds of power various people have/use/abuse? 3. Who works to build communal-sanctuaries? 4. Who works to concentrate/distribute powers? 5. Who promotes/facilitates dis/integrations? 6. Who promotes/facilitates dis/honesty? 7. Who promotes/facilitates domination/controls? 8. Who is authentic/pretentious/role-playing? 9. Unresolved conflicts among ideals/values/goals? 10 When coercion/violence are worthy of respect? None of the above efforts will bear sweet fruit for all --- if we become distracted with self-centered, ego- centric, and/or narcissistic concerns about: our-selves, our-righteousness, our-salvation, our-rights, our-truths, our-perfection, our-controls, our-purity, our-properties, our-invulnerability, our-etc. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================