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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %DIFFERENCES LOVERS DOMINEERING DOMINATION SYSTEM+021011 %MISUNDERSTANDING CONFLICT CONTENTIOUS DISTRUST SIN+021011 %RATIONAL SENSE TRANSPARENCY AUTHENTIC MOTIVATIONS+021011 %HONESTY COLLUSIONS ADDICTIONS ALCOHOLIC NONSENSE+021011 %COOPERATION NARCISSISTIC EGOCENTRIC SELFISH TRUST+021011 %MENTAL DISEASE ILLNESS ALIENATED INFORM KNOWLEDGE 021011 What are some differences between lovers and domineering people which make it quite difficult for them to understand, communicate-with, and cooperate-with each other? Consider the following possibilities: 1. Domineering people are usually self-centered and/or narcissistic --- in confused ways while believing that other people are like them in being: domineering, dishonest, secretive, self-centered, manipulative, power-hungry and not-trustworthy --- whereas lovers recognize the full range of human differences among individuals taken one at a time --- and are themselves essentially: honest, open, civil, gracious, generous, kind, patient, power-sharing and trustworthy. 2. Domineering people are often victims of mental illness, ill-at-ease and dis-eased in ways which result in dysfunctional emotional/mental processing of information and/or experiences --- whereas lovers are usually mentally and physiologically healthy and well integrated as affective-and-mental processors-of information and/or personal experiences. 3. Domineering people are often estranged, alienated, not involved in open and honest dialogue, uninformed and mis-informed --- whereas lovers are well integrated with a wide range of different kinds of people in open and honest dialogue, well-informed and sympathetically-thoughtful in relationships with others. 4. Domineering people are often lacking in the social graces of: civility, generosity, patience, hospitality, listening, dialogue, authenticity and trustfulness --- while true lovers have usually developed such social graces quite well. 5. Domineering people often over-simplify complex situations through dichotomous perceptions, so that they ask and answer either/or questions about: good/evil, right/wrong, acceptable/rejectable, perfect/defective, yes/no --- whereas lovers recognize, acknowledge and deal honestly with the full range of spectrums of differences in people, situations, relationships, and conflicts among ideas, ideals, values, principles and policies. 6. Domineering people often behave in non-rational ways which do not make transparent sense --- whereas lovers are authentic and transparent regarding their reasons for thinking and behaving as they do; because lovers are not participants in collusive games of mutual self deception. 7. Domineering people are more prone than lovers to look for technical solutions to problems and dilemmas; as domineering people often do not distinguish between technical problems (which presume agreement on what is to be achieved) and human dilemmas (which entail unresolved conflicts over what SHOULD be, be done, and/or be achieved). In the broad sense domineering people are often technocrats who are insensitive to the inhumane and alienative dimensions of their relationships with other people. 8. For the above reasons domineering people are prone to issue threats, invent and manufacture weapons of war; prepare and train soldiers to be ready, willing and able to engage in the destructive activities of war; and be indifferent to the alienative consequences of all such efforts --- whereas lovers are prone to seek to promote reconciliation, dialogue, mutual understanding, and balanced cooperative relationships. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================