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This is http://www.essayz.com/b0207205.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %POSSIBLE PERSONAL RELATIONHIP DEPENDS DIVERSE+020720 %FLEXIBLE TOLERANT REVERENCENEEDS PERCEPTIONS+020720 %COMPLEMENTARY NEEDS DESIRES HEALTH OPEN HONEST+020720 %COMMITTED DOMINATION SYSTEM SUBVERT COMMUNICATION+020720 %RIGHTS INDIVIDUALS COMMUNITY INTEGRITY BLAME EVIL+020720 %RELATIONSHIPS MUTUAL BALANCE RESPECT HONOR TRUST 020720 What is possible in a personal relationship depends upon many diverse factors, not just one or a few: 1. How flexible and graciously tolerant those in the relationship are with each other. 2. How intuitively the participants understand each other's needs, perceptions, desires, etc. 3. How complementary the participants' strengths and weaknesses are. 4. How healthy (both mentally and physically) the participants are. 5. How well committed the participants are to being open and honest with each other. 6. How well the participants are able to under- stand, transcend, and subvert "The Domination System". 7. How pervasive "The Domination System" is within their community, family, close friends, work-place, religious group(s), etc. 8. How intelligent, creative, and well educated the participants are in regard to personal relationships. 9. How well the community protects communication rights of the least powerful members of the community. 10. How tolerant the community is of true-lovers, creative-people, imaginative-people, prophets, systems-analysts, peacemakers, diplomats, and people dedicated to real-conflict-resolution. In the light of the above considerations it is not helpful to blame any one person in a failed relationship --- as if it was only the one person's fault that the relationships failed. Neither is it helpful to blame only the primary participants in the relationship --- as if it was only their fault; apart from dysfunctional contributions by other individuals and the whole community who may have led to the failure of the relationship. It is helpful to be open to discovering all of the diverse contributors; but it is not helpful to be compulsive in finding and blaming all of them. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================