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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %TABOO QUESTIONS ISSUES INTIMATE SEXUAL RELATIONS+001020 %PROBLEMATIC CONTENTIOUS DOMINEERING SYSTEMS SINS+001020 %DOMINATION COERCION VIOLENCE WAR TERROR WEAPONS 001020 Why is it that most all questions/issues which are related in any way to human intimate/sexual relationships are problematic/contentious to domineering people who support the provincial "Domination System"? The following comments probably point to at least some of the reasons: 1. Domineering people are preoccupied with issues of control, with being-in-charge, and with disciplines used to "regulate/control" human: thoughts, beliefs, feelings, attitudes, assumptions, desires, visions, hopes, pleasures, aspirations, fears, emotions, convictions, confessions, communications, dialogues, relationships, privacy, etc. --- none of which can truly be controlled by humans. They can at best be guided and expressed with integrity in ways which promote and facilitate both personal and communal integrity. 2. Domineering people's attempts to "regulate and/or control" lack integrity and undermine integrity because their futile attempts entail many alienative behaviors which are suggested by the following words: DISHONESTY DECEPTION SECRECY COERCION VIOLENCE MANIPULATIONS ARROGANCE SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS PERFECTIONISM ADDICTIONS CODEPENDENCE RESCUES THREATS JUDGEMENTALISM PUNISHMENTS REWARDS REJECTIONS EXCOMMUNICATIONS PRIDEFULNESS SELF-CENTEREDNESS POSSESSIVENESS FEAR ANXIETY CONTENTIOUSNESS COLLUSIONS MASKS APPEARANCES 3. To protect domineering people's collusive games of mutual self deception --- many essential questions must be repressed through the enforcement of taboos. 4. Domineering people are pretending that they can, should, and must be in control --- of all that is suggested under item one above; however - - - 5. It is in the realms of intimate and/or sexual relationships which domineering people are confronted most tellingly with relational/reflexive realities which are essentially beyond "perfect" intentional/rational/formal control. 6. Thus, to ask the opening question in this essay is to violate in a terrifying way the essential taboo which is maintained by the supporters of "The Domination System". To attempt to clarify and answer such questions is the extreme heresy. People who ask, clarify and/or try to answer any such question through words, deeds or authentic behaviors --- must be robbed of all power to influence current and potential supporters of "The Domination System" of all its appearances of integrity. People who do not take hints must be crucified in one way or another to maintain law and order in keeping with "The Domination System". 7. It is people who are involved in open and honest intimate relationships who are most likely to be traitors to "The Domination System". 8. Human thoughts, desires, visions, pleasures and relationships which involve human sexuality are among the most difficult to control; so extreme measures must be used to bring them under control --- regardless of how much alienation such efforts engender. 9. Good control entails proper conformity to proper: laws, rules, regulations, prescriptions, proscriptions, forms, formulas, and formalities. The rules must be enforced with adequate force to assure complete conformity. 10. All essential rules and truths can be found in our traditional holy scriptures. To assume otherwise and to permit current human experiences to have authority --- is to open pandora's box of forbidden truths. Domineering people are prone to think in dichotomous ways which are dominated by: either/or, good/evil, right/wrong, heaven/hell, etc. This leads to domineering people (usually men) projecting blame, shame and guilt upon women who by their sexual presence undermine domineering people's ability to maintain their pretense of being fully in control of all that they should control. Failures lead to more extreme attempts to be in control; to higher levels and/or more subtle levels coercion, dishonesty and violence. How then can people within communities which are dominated by domineering people learn how to regard themselves with integrity --- when they are involved in intimate and/or sexual relationships/activities which transcend domineering people's programs of control. This dilemma is especially difficult for scholars, scientists and engineers who pride themselves on objectivity and on detachment from that which they "control". They cannot detach from their own intimate/sexual activities and relationships. Intimacy and sexuality exposes the lack of integrity in the programs/systems of domineering people. Thus true intimacy and sexuality must be taboo, not discussed openly and honestly in truly personal terms. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================